Save what's left of your retirement

Save what's left of your retirement - A retirement plan can end up benefiting the company and its executives at the workers' expense, a new book argues. Take steps to protect what's in your 401k.

Companies touted automatic enrollment in 401k plans as a great way to harness workers' inertia and better their retirements.

Instead of waiting for employees to opt into the plans, starting in 2007 the companies could just sign 'em up and let them start accumulating wealth for their future.

These companies weren't just being altruistic, however. The hidden agenda behind the surge toward automatic enrollment was this: It allowed the companies' highly paid executives to contribute more to the plans.

By offering automatic enrollment and contributing 3% to lower-paid workers' accounts, companies don't have to pass the discrimination tests that were designed to keep retirement plans from benefiting executives at the expense of lower-paid workers.

"The same consulting firms and law firms that are advising companies are providing all the advice to the government on (retirement plan) reforms," said Wall Street Journal investigative reporter Ellen Schultz, the author of the new book "Retirement Heist: How Companies Plunder and Profit from the Nest Eggs of American Workers." "Everything they suggest is a Trojan horse."

Another revelation in Schultz's book has to do with matching funds. Companies can pass the discrimination tests by offering matches, which are supposed to encourage more lower-paid workers to participate. But the workers don't necessarily get to keep the money. Employers can impose long vesting requirements, Schultz writes, so that people who leave before three to five years on the job don't get to keep the full match. The employer gets its contribution back, along with any earnings that money made -- all tax-free.

In the book, Schultz outlined how Wal-Mart Stores redistributed the profit-sharing funds forfeited by nearly 80,000 departing workers in 2009 to other employees "based on eligible wages," which meant that contributions originally meant to encourage lower-paid workers to participate actually wound up in the accounts of higher-paid employees.

Schultz comes by her cynicism regarding company motives honestly. She's spent years tracking how corporations raided what used to be healthy, fully funded traditional pension plans to benefit shareholders and executives.

She and another Journal reporter won awards for their investigation into how companies bought life insurance on their unwitting workers to benefit their bottom lines and to fund executive compensation plans. She also was part of a team of Journal reporters who won a 2003 Pulitzer Prize in explanatory reporting for showing how companies hide executive compensation.

Schultz has little patience with companies that whine about their huge pension liabilities -- often without disclosing that a big chunk of the money they owe is massive deferred compensation payments they've promised to executives. To win sympathy from lawmakers and get changes in pension laws, companies can exaggerate their liabilities simply by tweaking the actuarial assumptions made about their pension plans.

"I wish people would be skeptical about companies' claims about their (pension) liabilities," Schultz said. "These companies have a track record of inflating claims deliberately to deceive people."

In their efforts to cut, freeze and do away with traditional pensions, companies have put workers' financial futures at serious risk, Schultz said. The retirement plan that has come to replace traditional pensions, the 401k, "is a failure," she said.

"People don't save enough. Some can't afford to save enough, they might not vest, or they spend it long before retirement," Schultz said. "You can still lose a huge chunk (due to market fluctuations) even if you do everything right. . . . The 401k does not provide security for most of the workplace."

Still, your 401k may be your only workplace retirement option. If you don't fund it -- and fund it well -- you have no shot at a comfortable retirement. Instead of giving up, Schultz hopes more workers will study the history of what really happened to pension funds, be more skeptical of changes their companies propose and push their lawmakers to protect retirement funds from company grabs.

On a more personal level, here are three things you can do to protect what's left of your retirement funds:

• Beware the lump sum. In theory, a properly invested lump-sum payout could provide you with more money than the lifetime annuity that's typically your other option when you retire. But most people won't invest well and will spend too much, Schultz said. Lump sums transfer all the risks to the retiree: investment risk, interest rate risk, inflation risk. Even if you do everything right, you still run the risk of outliving your money. That "longevity risk" is why most people are better off opting for the annuity.
• Don't leave before you vest. Don't assume everything in your retirement plan is yours to keep. If you leave before you're fully vested, you'll give up some or all of your company contributions to your plan. Once you leave a job, you should roll your retirement money into your next employer's plan or into an individual retirement account. Whatever you do, don't cash out; that's extremely hazardous to your financial health. It's not just the taxes and penalties you'll incur, although those will eat up one-quarter to one-half of the withdrawal. It's more the lost tax-deferred returns that money could have earned. Figure that every $1,000 withdrawal will cost you at least $10,000 in future retirement money.
• Don't believe your company's promises. Companies often try to persuade older workers to retire early by promising a package of benefits. Yet the fine print of the contract you sign often includes wording that allows the company to change the terms of the agreement -- in other words, it can renege on any promises made to you, Schultz said. One area where early retirees frequently get burned is health care benefits. Companies may promise to provide insurance but often cap the amount they'll pay. Premium increases are passed on to the retirees. The cost can get so high that most healthy people with other insurance options drop out. That leaves an increasingly unhealthy pool of retirees behind. Their claims rise, the company raises rates again, and an "insurance death spiral" ensues that eventually makes the insurance unaffordable. ( msn.com )

READ MORE - Save what's left of your retirement

Why living in a city makes you fat, infertile, blind, depressed and even causes cancer

Why living in a city makes you fat, infertile, blind, depressed and even causes cancer - Should cities carry a health warning?

A growing body of research shows that babies born in cities, and children who grow up in them, face a battery of health problems that afflict both their physical and mental well-being.

The problems pose a serious threat because ever-increasing numbers of us are spending our lives in cities.

The picture of happiness? Urban living is associated with higher risk of chronic health disorders, such as mental illness, immune diseases, arthritis, heart disease, cancer and fertility problems

In 1900, only 14 per cent of the world’s population were city-dwellers. Three years ago, that figure had risen to 50 per cent.

By 2050, the United Nations predict that 70 per cent of people will be urbanites.

City-dwellers should have a better deal in life, compared with their rural counterparts. On average, they are wealthier and have better job prospects. They enjoy bountiful food, superior healthcare and cleaner sanitation.

But urban living carries a significantly increased risk of chronic health disorders, such as mental illness, immune diseases, arthritis, heart disease, cancer and fertility problems.

City life: Studies have found that pre-natal daily exposure to urban pollution can set us up for a lifetime of ill-health

And as cities become ever more crowded, these problems are only going to get worse.

The latest studies indicate that daily exposure to urban pollution can affect us before we are even born — leaving us prone to a lifetime of ill-health.

Scientists have discovered that babies born in cities are bigger and heavier — normally a good sign — than those born in the countryside. But when they compared the placentas of mothers from a busy city and a quiet rural district, they found that the city mums had far higher levels of chemical pollutants called xenoestrogens in their blood — and in that of their unborn babies.

Xenoestrogens are industrial chemicals that affect our bodies in similar ways to the female hormone, oestrogen.

They are found in countless man-made pollutants such as petrol fumes, and are more abundant in industrial areas than the countryside.

As well as causing excess foetal growth, they have been linked to problems such as obesity, hyperactivity, early puberty, fertility problems and cancers of the lung, breast and prostate.

The researchers, from the University of Granada, Spain, found that although city mothers were older and weighed less than rural mothers, they still gave birth to larger babies.

Dr Maria Marcos, who led the study, says the toxic xenoestrogens seem to have a significant effect on the development of unborn children. Her report provides the latest evidence that city air can seriously hinder normal childhood development.

Tired and tested: Complete exhaustion is said to be a complaint caused by city life

But it doesn’t end there. Last year, laboratory tests undertaken at the Ohio State University showed how urban pollutants may cause metabolic changes in toddlers that result in raised blood sugar levels and increased resistance to insulin — which regulates the way our bodies metabolise carbohydrates.

The university’s professor of environmental health science, Dr Qinghua Sun, has observed that these pollutants can lead to the development of Type 2 diabetes.

‘These fine chemical particles directly cause inflammation and changes in fat cells, both of which increase the risk of Type 2 diabetes. In cities, it would be very difficult to escape the pervasive influence of dirty air that begins early in life.’

Indeed, growing numbers of children never leave their city environment. Figures from the pressure group Farming And Countryside Education indicate that one in five British youngsters has never visited the countryside. A further 17 per cent had only been ‘once or twice’.

Worse still for children’s development, city upbringings normally entail indoor lifestyles. Modern, concrete cityscapes are so unfriendly that only 20 per cent of youngsters play in the streets, yet 70 per cent of adults can recall doing so when they were children.

Growing up indoors has its own health threats — not least to growing eyes. Children who spend most of their day indoors have a far greater chance of suffering from ‘high myopia’, a severe form of short-sightedness. Half of sufferers become blind by middle-age.

Researchers at Australia’s Centre of Excellence in Vision Science believe that lack of sunlight is the culprit. They say exposure to sunshine causes the retina to release dopamine, a hormone that inhibits the excessive eyeball growth that causes myopia.

Their studies have found that children who spend time outdoors cut their risk of short-sightedness by a fifth.

City childhoods have also been blamed for the fact that urban youngsters are more likely than their rural counterparts to develop asthma and other allergies.

The theory — called the ‘hygiene hypothesis’ — suggests city children do not get to play in the mud, lie on the grass or splash in puddles and are therefore deprived of early exposure to relatively harmless microbes in the soil.

Fun? Young people who are brought up in cities can experience significant levels of stress. This makes them more likely to have schizophrenia and other anxiety disorders

Instead, they grow up in over-hygienic homes — wiped down with antibacterial cleaning products and vacuumed religiously — that deny their immature immune systems the opportunity to develop a normal resistance to germs.

Recent research has indicated that city-dwelling mothers can even pass over-sensitive allergic reactions to their babies in the womb.

A study in the Journal of Experimental Medicine found that mothers who live amid farmyard microbes give birth to allergy-resistant offspring. This does not happen with mothers in cities.

Perhaps most disturbing is the toll on young minds that can be wrought by the stress of growing up in urban areas.

According to the hygiene hypothesis, because city children don't play in the mud, they are more likely to develop asthma and allergies

A study by Dr Glyn Lewis, of the Institute of Psychiatry in London, shows that incidence of schizophrenia is twice as high in men who are born and brought up in cities.

People in cities also have a 39 per cent higher risk of mood problems such as depression and bipolar disorder, and a 21 per cent increased risk of anxiety disorders — such as panic attacks, extreme phobias and obsessive-compulsiveness.

Young women growing up in cities are five times more likely to suffer from the eating disorder bulimia, according to a ten-year study in the British Journal of Psychiatry.

Earlier this year, German researchers reported that the brains of people born in cities actually operate differently from those in rural areas.

The study, based on brain scans, found that two regions of the brain, the amygdala and the cingulate cortex (both involved in regulation of emotion and anxiety), became overactive in city-dwellers when confronted with stress triggers.

The reaction in participants from the countryside was much milder.

Professor Andreas Meyer-Lindenberg, of the University of Heidelberg, says: ‘We know what the amygdala does — it is the danger-sensor of the brain and is therefore linked to anxiety and depression.

‘The cingulate cortex is important for controlling emotion and dealing with environmental adversity.’

He goes on to say that this excess activity could be caused by growing up amid environmental stress, and may lie at the root of many mental health problems.

Urban over-crowding may be a significant cause of these problems. Meyer-Lindenberg adds: ‘If someone invades your personal space, the amygdala-cingulate circuit gets switched on, so the trouble could be something as simple as urban density.’

Childhood obesity is a major problem in cities

Packed public transport, busy pavements and heaving High Street shops are all culprits.

And urban upbringings may be contributing to the rapid rise of behavioural problems in children, particularly attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

American studies in the journal Archives of General Psychiatry have found a link between city childhoods and poor attention spans.

You don’t need to be a scientist to show how there is something about the countryside that soothes the human brain.

But one theory — called biophilia — is that over millennia of evolution, humans have developed a natural affinity for green surroundings, and we become anxious when deprived of them.

Research by Frances Kuo, an Illinois University environmental psychologist, supports this.

She runs a project studying hyperactive children who are brought out of the city to spend time enjoying the countryside.

She claims that just a 20-minute walk in the open air can yield a substantial improvement in a child’s attention-span.

The benefit equalled the effects of taking Ritalin — the controversial behavioural drug often prescribed to children with ADHD.

However, most urbanites are too busy to seek out nature’s therapeutic influence.

The Government’s UK 2000 Time Use Survey shows that out of the 1,440 minutes each day, the average Briton spends only one minute in the countryside or at the seaside or even in a park or garden.

Not only should we slap a health warning on urban life — we should put a regular spell in the countryside on prescription. ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Why living in a city makes you fat, infertile, blind, depressed and even causes cancer

Why Mom Wakes Before Dad

Why Mom Wakes Before Dad - Differences between males and females abound, of course -- but some are found in the oddest places. New research has found that women tend to have shorter, earlier sleep cycles then men. This makes women typically go to bed earlier and get up earlier in the morning. It could also cause women's higher rates of insomnia and seasonal depression.

"This has implications for how easily they can fall asleep and how well they can stay asleep," said study researcher Jeanne Duffy of Harvard Medical School. "It could alter and contribute to differences between individuals as to when it's easy to go to bed or wake up."

The researchers found that, on average, women's 24-hour sleep-wake cycle (called the circadian rhythm) is about six minutes shorter than men, but in the reality of sleeping and waking, this equates waking up about 30 minutes earlier.

Extreme sleeping

The research team, led by Duffy and advisor Charles Czeisler, studied the sleep cycles of 52 women and 105 men for two to six weeks in the lab. They studied two indicators of circadian rhythm, the patient's core body temperature and levels of the hormone melatonin -- thought to play a role in setting sleep-wake cycles -- while the patients followed extreme schedules (following a sleep-activity cycle spread across a 20 or 28 hour day, instead of the normal 24) in a dimly lit room.

This environment allows the researchers to measure the natural circadian rhythms of the individuals, which are normally reset daily by exposure to natural light. Without outside cues, the body reverts to its natural cycle, which is sometimes longer or shorter than 24 hours. In this study, about 35 percent of women had circadian rhythms shorter than 24 hours, compared to 14 percent of men.

This difference is important for people with seasonal depression, who are treated with light therapy to reset their circadian rhythm. If they have a cycle shorter than 24 hours, they need evening light to sync up, and if it's longer than 24 hours, they need light in the mornings.

Why women?

The finding could have to do with differences in estrogen levels, the researchers say. This could mean that hormone levels could change circadian rhythm, though this evidence on pre- and post-menopausal women suggests the sleep cycles are related to hormone exposure during development, not adult levels.

Figuring out what controls our biological clocks "is one of the most important questions in human chronology research right now," Alfred Lewy, of the Oregon Health and Science University in Portland, told LiveScience. "It's brilliantly done and has important clinical implications," said Lewy, who wasn’t involved in the current study ( LiveScience.com )

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Men Think About Sleep & Food as Much as Sex

Men Think About Sleep & Food as Much as Sex - Men think about sex every seven seconds, right? Not according to a new study that finds men ponder sleep and food as much as they do sex.

The median number of thoughts about sex by college-age men was 18 times a day to women's 10 times a day, the study found. But the men also thought about food and sleep proportionately more.

"In other words, there was nothing special about sexual thoughts," study researcher Terri Fisher, a psychologist at The Ohio State University, Mansfield, told LiveScience. "Males thought more about any of the health-related thoughts compared to females, not just thoughts about sex."

Sex on the brain

The "men think about sex every seven seconds" axiom is an urban legend, Fisher said. But there is little reliable research on how often men and women really do have sexual thoughts. Most studies have asked people to think back across their day or week and try to remember how many sex thoughts they had -- a method that doesn't always provide reliable results. [Top 10 Urban Legends]

Fisher and her colleagues instead asked 163 college women and 120 college men to carry around small golf-stroke tally counters. So they wouldn't be biased to think about sex, the students were told they'd be asked about health-related thoughts, Fisher said. Next, the researchers told 60 percent of the students to click the counter whenever they thought about sex. Others were instructed to tally their thoughts on food and sleep.

"The stereotype is that men think about sex constantly and women rarely [think about it]," Fisher said. But that's not what she and her colleagues found. There was a broad range in the number of sex thoughts, from several participants who recorded one thought a day, to a male participant who recorded 388 thoughts in a day. Factoring in the participant's sleep time, his 388 thoughts broke down to having a sexual thought every 158 seconds, Fisher said, still far fewer than the "every seven seconds" legend would suggest.

Sex, sleep and snacks

On average, Fisher wrote, the men in the study thought about sex slightly more than once each waking hour and women about half that. However, men paid no greater attention to sex than they did food and sleep, Fisher found. That difference could be a real one in which men are just more aware of their physical state at any given time, she said, or it could be that men are more comfortable clicking the tally counter to record their body-centric thoughts.

"There are stereotypes about women and sexuality and about women and food," Fisher said, and women who indicated on questionnaires that they cared more about what others thought about them were less likely to report food and sex-based thoughts. They were equally like to report their sleep-based thoughts, which aren't so subject to stereotypes, Fisher said. The finding suggests that women, but not men, are influenced by social desirability concerns in what they were thinking or what they would admit to thinking.

The study has limitations, including the fact that people tend not to have isolated thoughts. The data also doesn't show whether an individual thought is a one-second passing notion or a full-on 10-minute sexual fantasy. The study was limited to college students, but Fisher currently has research under way on adults ages 25 and up. She said she hopes to get to the truth of the sex difference stories that get passed around in popular culture.

"When people hear about some of these differences, I think sometimes they don't question it because it fits the stereotypes we have of men and women," Fisher said. "When you stop and take a closer look at the origins of some of these alleged differences, they sometimes have no empirical support." ( LiveScience.com )

READ MORE - Men Think About Sleep & Food as Much as Sex

Myths About Psychiatry

Myths About Psychiatry - Let's explore the myth that psychiatric conditions aren't as well defined as other medical diseases and psychiatric treatments aren't supported by as much scientific evidence, and don't work as well, as other medical treatments. Even my fellow psychiatrists believe this. I'll take broken limbs and that sort of thing out of the equation and go on from there.

Are psychiatric conditions nothing more than labels for normal behaviors? Is a person with social anxiety disorder just a shy person? Is depression just an experience we all have to live with during hard times? What makes a super-punctilious person a case of obsessive-compulsive disorder? It's true that some psychiatric conditions exist on a continuum with normal reactions, normal states of being. Differentiating them from normal is no different than deciding what level of blood pressure is 'hypertension,' how many pounds add up to 'obesity,' or how many hours of labor it should take before a baby is born. A condition rises to the level of disease when it handicaps a person, is associated with bad outcomes, and/or can be treated -- in psychiatry just as in the rest of medicine.

Do psychiatrists just sit around and vote psychiatric diagnoses in or out of the diagnostic manual? This notion assumes that medical diagnoses are handed down on tablets like the Ten Commandments. On the contrary; specialists have to look at the evidence and then make judgments about the criteria for medical diagnoses. The difference between a benign tumor and a cancer is a matter of how many sick cells appear under the microscope. Of course oncologists have to make that decision, and they presumably they have some sort of vote to make it official.

Do we know more about what causes other diseases than we do about the causes of psychiatric illnesses? Let's take juvenile diabetes. We all know that diabetes is caused by the failure of the pancreas to secrete normal amounts of insulin. But what causes that? We say it's an autoimmune condition -- the body attacks its own insulin-secreting cells. Why does that happen? We don't know. We do know a lot about the causes of psychiatric conditions. Several of them have a strong hereditary component -- they run in families. Certain kinds of childhood experiences and later traumas have an effect. Sometimes people with certain genes can become ill only under certain circumstances.

Are psychiatric illnesses not real because there are no diagnostic tests for psychiatry? The substrate, the physical location, of thought, mood, and behavior, is the brain. That's not a part of the body we like to biopsy without an extremely good reason. The consistency of the brain is something like Jell-O -- not easy to use an x-ray to see where it's broken. Using brain scans, however, we now can distinguish between the brain of a person with depression and a person who is not depressed -- and make many, many other such observations. Those observations correlate with what we learn by interviewing a patient and observing his or her behaviors.

Do psychiatrists want to label everybody as sick so as to fill our practices? There is a shortage of psychiatrists. I don't know any psychiatrists with time on their hands. Our incomes are at the lower end of the medical totem pole, along with family medicine and pediatrics, which makes it difficult to repay the over $100,000 in student loans we have, on average, but we make a good living.

Is there a scientific basis for psychiatric treatment? The New England Journal of Medicine some years ago published a paper demonstrating that far fewer than half the treatments used for cardiovascular diseases are supported by good scientific evidence. Psychiatric treatments work about as well as other medical treatments (1).

How can talking to someone cure a real disease? Well, it can. It can also help cancer patients to live longer; it can lessen the pain of diseases and procedures. We see the same changes on brain images whether a person's depression is relieved by psychotherapy or medication.

Do psychiatric medications turn people into 'zombies,' or change their personalities? Any medication can cause ill effects in some people, especially if they take too large a dose. Are psychiatric medications 'brain-altering'? A person who recovers from depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder can seem to have a changed personality -- a healthy one. People treated for schizophrenia can use their brains to make contributions to society and have fulfilling lives because their brains are no longer cluttered with hallucinations and delusions.

Prejudice against psychiatry, psychiatric patients, and psychiatrists goes back millennia. It's hard enough to have a painful and possibly disabling disorder, or to treat one, without suffering from stigma as well. The brain is not only the most complicated organ of the body -- it's one of the most complicated entities in the universe. So psychiatric problems don't have simple answers. Just like our colleagues in other branches of medicine, no more and no less, there is much more that we don't know than that we do know. Like our medical colleagues, we'll keep relieving the suffering of people who are ill, and we'll keep doing research to understand and treat them ever better. ( huffingtonpost.com )

READ MORE - Myths About Psychiatry

How to cope with being single during the holidays

How to cope with being single during the holidays - The buildup to the holiday season begins early, that’s for sure. And if you’re used to being part of a pair strolling arm-in-arm through a winter wonderland, facing this time of year as a single person can really throw a wrench in your ho-ho-ho. The days ahead may seem anything but merry and bright.

“Holidays are hard because most of us have been conditioned to think that the season belongs to families and friends,” explains Bishop Noel Jones, pastor of the 20,000-member City of Refuge faith community in Gardena, CA. “The key to the torment of holiday blues is the conditioning based on our cultural upbringing. This has forged our minds into believing that we need someone with us to make the holiday joyful.” Jones, who's also the author of God’s Gonna Make You Laugh, continues: “This is endemic to our culture. It doesn’t matter whether you’re newly or ‘terminally’ single, the problem is being conditioned to believe it takes two to make holidays joyous.”

If you’re ready to begin reconditioning yourself for the single holiday season ahead, read on...

Adjust your attitude

Hard as it may be to imagine life after a breakup, there is one... assuming you choose it. Mark Rogers, a Dallas-based counselor and relationship coach, says it’s crucial to have a life. “Life’s supposed to be juicy and joyful,” he counsels. “So embrace your personhood, not your partnership status. If you don’t like your life, if your passions are all pastel, if your color’s washed out, your adventures listless, your hobbies hobbled, and your courage for new activities and novel interactions has dried up and blown away, then you may be hoping a romance will start blood flowing inside a turnip,” he says. (It won’t.)

“It’s not singlehood that’s a liability, it’s stagnation,” adds Rogers. “Get the juices flowing in your life, and then your relationship status becomes an attribute, not an identity.”

Think about it: the fun, interesting people you want to date want to date someone fun and interesting, too. “Get serious about being emotionally mature and interactionally interesting,” Rogers concludes. “Offer potential partners light-heartedness, passionate engagement with life, and a willingness to learn the dance steps of intimacy. That combination is practically irresistible.”


Use your network

“If you’re suddenly solo, you probably envision a holiday season spent sitting at home, watching It’s A Wonderful Life for the 45th time (this year),” laughs Jeanne Hurlbert, professor of Sociology at Louisiana State University. “But it doesn’t have to be that way. Focus on what you have — friends, family, colleagues — rather than what you lack. Enjoy those relationships fully. Choose to spend time with people who are fun and who will embrace your single status — not pity it — and will help you embrace it, too. Rekindle relationships with special people with whom you’ve lost touch. Renewing contact with old friends may provide a special holiday gift for both of you.”

Hurlbert also suggests hosting your own seasonal party to signal to yourself and your friends that you’re ready for a festive holiday. “Chances are, you’ll stimulate lots of invitations and activity,” she says. “And that will provide opportunities to expand your network.”

There are other ways to expand your social circle and fill that hole in your schedule. Join a new organization, or volunteer your time at a shelter or food bank. “Lots of organizations are looking for helping hands this time of year,” Hurlbert notes. “Providing that help will not only lift your mood, it will also introduce you to new people.”


Take care of yourself

While being a singleton can be a bummer, it does provide you with an opportunity to invest in your own well-being. “Taking time to unwind can decrease your stress levels and improve your health and relationships,” notes Mental Health America President and CEO David Shern. “Try meditating, exercising, engaging in a hobby or talking with a friend. It’s your time, so spend it doing something you enjoy.”

This is important because mental health is integral to our overall health and wellness. “Negative psychological factors, such as stress and depression, can have serious effects on physical health,” he explains. “Stress, for instance, is closely linked to high blood pressure, heart disease and obesity. Learning habits that promote mental health therefore helps us protect and strengthen our overall health and well-being.”

And if you feel good, you’ll look good. That will help your attitude stay positive — and make you more attractive to potential suitors.

No one’s saying it’s easy being suddenly single during the holidays. Nor are we saying it’s easy to change your attitudes and conditioning. But it is possible, with a little effort. And starting now, before the holiday crush is upon you, will make it easier. Who knows? If you develop a happy and healthy attitude about the holidays, you might just find love under the mistletoe! ( Match.com )

READ MORE - How to cope with being single during the holidays

Is it love or loneliness?

Is it love or loneliness? - There's a fine line between looking for love and avoiding loneliness. Here we look at why people resort to online dating to fill the void...

Love or loneliness: what is it exactly you are looking for?

Generally nobody likes to be alone, especially as they get older. With this in mind, how do you tell the difference between actually being in love, or telling yourself that you're in love because you are lonely and looking to fill a space in your life vacated by someone else?


You might just be looking for companionship - someone to chat with on the phone, meet for lunch, discuss a favourite book with and so on. Whether that is the case, of if you are trying to meet potential new partners, with all the dating, flirting and fun that that entails, then you are right to be looking at online dating sites. However, before you do so, it is worth establishing what it is you are looking for.


Websites such as www.teenadvice.about.com provide quizzes to help you assess your situation: these may be for teenagers who think they’re in love, but the questions are just as applicable to those of us with a few more miles on the clock. You might find that you're making some of the same mistakes you did when you were younger. Take a look around and get as much information as you can.


Dating in later life is a serious matter, and comes freighted with worries. What if I don’t ever find someone? What if the person I ask out for a date doesn’t show up? What if he/she likes me more than I like them? There is no way to avoid these questions, but you shouldn't let them stop you. Try a dating website and go from there. This is the best option if you are looking for companionship, but may want it to blossom into love. ( telegraph.co.uk )

READ MORE - Is it love or loneliness?

Fashion and films are in my genes

'Fashion and films are in my genes' - When you grow up on Hindi cinema, things tend to get filmi,” says Rhea Kapoor, who, thanks to her filmi genes, is starting her career with Aisha which releases on August 6. “I went to study theatre at the New York University and acting was what I was first planning to do. But I soon realised that I was more inclined towards filmmaking.”

Fashion and films are in my genes

Second Home

Dad, Anil Kapoor, felt that she would do justice to the script of Aisha and Rhea, who was then 21, gave the first production clap. “Fashion and films are in my genes and Aisha demanded attention on both fronts,” says Rhea, who loves shopping for vintage stuff at thrift shops and shoes at Jeffreys, when in New York, which has become her second home.

Cinema, for her, will always be movies like Michael Clayton and writers like Jason Reitman to inspire her.

“The reason why I chose to take up filmmaking now is that the syntax of commercial Bollywood cinema is changing. Big star casts don’t guarantee hits and there is a lot of scope for those willing to express themselves. Putting a frame together is a lot of fun,” says Kapoor, who loved designing the look of the movie and sitting in on music sessions.

Is direction the next step? She smiles, “I would definitely like to direct in the next couple of years. But acting is not my piece of cake.” ( hindustantimes.com )

READ MORE - Fashion and films are in my genes

Should you lie to your partner?

Should you lie to your partner?. To lie or not to lie. That is the big question!. As much as you love the man in your life, he gets too much to handle at times. How many times have you lost your breath trying to explain why you didn't pick up his call? You can't possible tell him that you bumped into your cute co-worker and… well, he had really bad timing!

So where exactly do you draw the line between telling him the truth and lying to him?

"It spent Rs6000 on these stilettoes!"

Okay so we all know guys can a bit edgy when it comes to how much we spend. He probably just can't get why you'd spend a fortune on a pair of killer heels. But the thing is as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it's all good, right? Does he really need to know it cost that much? It's not such a bad idea to bring down the price by half when you tell him. If you decide to tell him the truth, don't bother arguing with him about how much the LCD he wants costs.

"I got hit on today."

Trust us, your guy does not want to know how many guys hit on you. Agreed it might be tempting to tell him and make it look as if other guys find you hot especially if you think he's not being paying enough attention to you. But if you tell him that, he's just going to end up thinking that you are flirting with other guys.

"I cheated on you."

Unfortunately ladies, there’s no getting out of this one. You can't cover this up and you have no other option but to tell him the truth. Don't even bother trying to sugarcoat it. Don't expect him to stay calm or forgive you right away. He might even want to take a break but he needs to know. Period.

"I dated 50 odd guys before you."

It will probably be a big mistake if you are completely honest here. He might start thinking less of you if you actually tell him the number of guys you casually dated or had one-night-stands with. If he specifically asks you about your past, you are left with no option. But even then it would be wise to mention the serious relationships that lasted for longer than six months and leave out all those flings that meant nothing.

"I'm hanging with the guys."

Guys will hate it if you lie to them about which of your guy friends you're hanging out with so it's crucial to be honest here. If you are going out with a guy (no matter how much your partner dislikes him), don't cover up and say you're going out with some girlfriends. If he does come to know, he's likely to go ballistic and may be even end up thinking you’re cheating on him.

"Hmmm, it's small."

If you ever say this, you can consider your sex life over. Guys have this thing about their manhood and you do not want to be the one telling him that it's small. He may forgive you for it but he'll never forget - we assure you! His ego will be totally crushed, he'll start avoiding sex and get insecure about his performance in bed. Never tell him that he doesn't satisfy you in bed. Instead tell him the things he does right or what you'd like him to do.

At the end of the day, being in a relationship means not keeping secrets or hiding stuff from your partner. That's why you need to know when it's okay to lie and when you need to tell the truth regardless of the consequences.

Of course, you can always discuss things carefully so you do not hurt your partner's feelings. After all, you wouldn't want him telling you that you look "fat" in that dress you bought for your anniversary, do you? ( idiva.com )

READ MORE - Should you lie to your partner?

Wayward cat gets free flight home from Chicago

Wayward cat gets free flight home from Chicago. New Mexico business donates carrier, flight home for lost and found feline - No one knows how a tabby cat named Charles traveled the 1,300 miles from his New Mexico home to Chicago, but he's set for a complimentary flight home on American Airlines in a carrier donated by an Albuquerque business.

Charles the cat traveled 1,300 miles from his home in New Mexico to Chicago, where he was picked up as a stray. A microchip helped to find his owner.

Charles disappeared about eight months ago while his owner was out of town and a friend was caring for him.

"Oh, I was crushed, and I found out while I was away volunteering with Habitat for Humanity, and I was so upset because I was in New Orleans so there was nothing I could do," said Robin Alex, of Albuquerque.

Then earlier this week, Alex received a call telling her Chicago Animal Care and Control had picked up her wandering cat as a stray. Staffers reached out to Alex after finding that Charles had a tracking microchip embedded between his shoulder blades, said the agency's executive director, Cherie Travis.

But Alex said she could not afford the round-trip ticket to Chicago to bring Charles home, so she was afraid he might be euthanized.

Enter fellow Albuquerque resident Lucien Sims. Sims said he has a tabby cat who strongly resembles Charles, and was moved when his mother sent him an online story about Alex and her pet.

Most importantly, Sims was on his way to Chicago on Thursday for a wedding, so he said he would go to the shelter, pick up Charles and bring him back to New Mexico.

Sims has made all the arrangements for Charles' return, including getting a company to donate a cat carrier and American Airlines to waive the cat's travel fee.

Travis said Charles is definitely ready for his next adventure.

"He's in good condition," she said. "He needs a good brushing. He's got a little bit of a cold — a little bit of an upper respiratory infection — but otherwise he's in great condition." ( The Associated Press )

READ MORE - Wayward cat gets free flight home from Chicago

How to fight rising credit card rates

How to fight rising credit card rates. Credit card interest rates have hit their highest level in 12 years, leaving millions of consumers facing crippling debt repayments. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to help protect your pocket. Victoria Bischoff explains…

Since the economic downturn began, British borrowers have not had the best of times.

As the UK continues to suffer from high levels of unemployment, credit card providers are concerned that many customers will be unable to afford to repay their debts.

As a result, lenders have become less willing to dole out credit to customers and in many cases have hiked up their interest rates to reflect the increased risks they face.

In fact, according to recent research by Moneyfacts, credit card rates have soared to their highest level since 1998, with the average credit card rate hitting a high of 18.8% APR Typical - up from 14.8% APR Typical in 2006.

This means a borrower with a £5,000 credit card debt, who makes the minimum payment each month, will now have to repay a tremendous £2,289 more over the life of their debt than they would have in February 2006.

What's more, other charges such as balance transfer, cash withdrawal and foreign transfer fees are also continuing to increase, leaving customers paying more right across the board.

Read on to learn more about what you can do to fight back against credit card rate increases and keep the cost of your debt at an affordable level.

For existing customers

If you have recently received a letter informing you that the interest rate on your credit card is increasing, you don't have to accept this.

First of all, find out if you can shift your balance onto a different credit card that charges less interest. For example, right now the Virgin Credit Card is offering balance transfer customers a 16 month holiday from interest payments.

Another option is to contact your lender and refuse to accept the rate increase. This means you should be able to pay back your existing debt at the original rate over a reasonable amount of time - i.e. you won't be forced to repay the entire balance immediately. However, this does mean you will be unable to make any new purchases using your card.

To find out more about 'rate jacking' check out Laura Starkey's article 'Don't let them hike your credit card rate.'

For new customers…

With the average credit card rate currently at almost 19% APR % Typical, it's crucial that if you do decide to borrow you do so in the cheapest way possible.

First decide what you will be using your flexible friend for. These days, there are all different kinds of credit cards available on the market so it's important you pick the right plastic for the right job.

For example, if you need a credit card to spread out the cost of an expensive purchase, a card with 0% purchasing power is likely to be best suited to you. However, make sure you work out exactly how much you will need to repay each month to ensure you clear your balance before the 0% deal expires.

Remember, in the current climate only individuals with an excellent credit score are likely to be accepted for many of the market's top deals. Therefore before you apply for a new credit card it is a sensible idea to check your credit rating first.

You can check your credit report online quickly and easily for free as part of a 30 day free trial with Credit Expert - just be sure to cancel your direct debit before the month is up and they start to charge you.

Five top borrowing tips for all

Finally, here are five quick tips to help all borrowers keep the cost of their credit card debt as low as possible.

1. Watch out for negative payment hierarchy

Negative payment hierarchy is where your provider weights your payment towards your cheapest debt first and leaves the more expensive debts (e.g. cash withdrawals) until last. This means your expensive debt will keep accruing hefty interest charges until you are able to tackle it.

To avoid this nasty credit card trick, the general rule of thumb is: 'Never spend on a balance transfer credit card'.

2. Pay more than the Monthly Minimum Repayment

If you only ever pay back the monthly minimum repayment (MMR) it might take you years, possibly even decades, to pay back even a modest debt - and it will probably cost you a fortune in interest charges too.

Overshooting the minimum each month, even by just a few pounds, could help dramatically reduce the lifetime of your debt.

3. Don't withdraw cash

Credit card providers often charge much higher levels of interest for cash withdrawals than they do for regular purchases. Therefore, try to avoid using your credit card at cashpoints and stick to using a debit card for taking out cash instead.

4. Never miss a payment

Make sure you always know when your credit card payments are due. If you miss payments, not only are you likely to be stung by a hefty late payment charge you could also seriously damage your credit rating. What's more, your provider may withdraw any promotional deals you are benefiting from.

5. Be sensible

Finally, never borrow more than you can afford to pay back. Paying by plastic can be far less of a reality than handing over crisp twenty pound notes, so make sure you keep a close eye on how much you 'stick on the card'. Remember, you will eventually have to pay back every penny you borrow. ( mailcompare.mailonline.co.uk )

READ MORE - How to fight rising credit card rates